WRITING 

I am a twenty one year old student and I am having problems with my parents for the last one year: I just can't trust them. Whenever I say something, I feel that they use
that information to work out what makes me tick, my ins and outs and then use these to manipulate my emotions and make me do things I don't want to do. I don't have any freedom at all. And every time I feel I should speak with my parents and call them, three or four minutes later I end the conversation out of anger and despair.
 
I feel used, betrayed and raped. I feel that all my life my parents have caged me and never let me do much in the way of socialising. As a result, I have grown to become a shy, introverted twenty one year old who has never had friends or girlfriends. I doubt that I will have a successful relationship with my partner because I can be easily manipulated, I am shy and introverted.
 
Also, my parents have invested a large portion of their savings on my college tuition, so they want me to do what they want. i.e. earn loads of money regardless of my career interests, move to the states. They do this by manipulating my emotions and thought process.
 
I want to do what I feel is right for me or what I want to do. But they are getting in the way. It's like an unwriten contract: I pay for your college education and you give me what I want.
 
Also, this is affecting my grades as I have given up my desire to study as I am studying Physics and you can't make as much money with Physics as with invetsment banking. Also, I watch tv shows, movies etc. all day long out of a desire to compensate for the lack of social life I had for the last 21 years. I have no friends, but at least I can learn about socialising by wtaching family shows.
 
I feel that my life's totally ****ed up. I can't turn to my parents for help. I have no friends to help me.